A tear and the saucepan

Yesterday, I offered to pay for my portion of the groceries when we went to Walmart. He always paid for the groceries. He does this because he makes more. But yesterday, he didn’t say anything. The stuff that I bought were the regular stuff that him and I share. Well, I guess not entirely. He ask a little bit of what I have, but it’s no big deal.

Today, I didn’t have any oatmeal so I decided to cook some. As I go to the kitchen I notice that he hasn’t cleaned the saucepan that he used 4 days ago. I texted him asking if he could clean it, and immediately, he rose and went to the kitchen and cleaned it. 
Mind you, he was wearing his boxers. He had just woken up, and right then and there, he cleaned the saucepan for me. 
I was surprised because he ususally doesn’t take my requests as a priority at all. He usually just brushes them aside until I end up getting irritated and cleaning the darn thing myself or I bug him too much about it that we end up fighting again. The fights he starts are mainly arguements we’ve had in the past. The ones that I thought we’ve already resolved. 

I continued to clean, and when I passed him, I noticed that he was sniffing his nose. I guess he was crying. He was sobbing a little bit. I don’t know why he was sobbing, it’s not like I asked him to clean the saucepan right away, as you can see in the text I sent him. 
I stopped cleaning just to write this. I had to type it just in case I’d forget. 


His reaction to my rejection 

He tried to touch my hand to say goodbye for work. I had my eyes closed because I wanted him to think I was sleepy. Maybe he did think that I was sleepy. Maybe my wave of rejection pissed him off. 

How do I know?

When he sees me sleepy, he turns the lights off. This time, he just slammed the door shut and walked out of the house.

Thing he told me that I will never forget

Things he told me that I know I will never forget
Here are things I forgot to mention that he has said:
– I’ve wasted my time in college. I’ve wasted all my time in college.

  • My parents never taught me how to clean.

  • I never listened to him.

  • I’m too busy. I never make time for him and my babies.

  • I’m always speaking with Liliana and Susan.

  • I spend too much money.

  • He told me to learn how to live with acne.

  • If he’s playing video games, he tells me that he’s stressed.

I can’t do the same thing. I can’t rest because I’m not the one who’s working. He tells me that at least he works for a living. 
I know myself that once I start working though, I’ll never look back.

Some Marriage This Is


How am I doing today? I’m doing great! How? Well, I’m fixing my room and everything seems to go well. Yes, my room is still a mess, although it’s turning out the way I planned. I plan to move his dresser to the living room, but with this nasty temper of his, it just seems really hard for me without getting real pissed. 

He sure is very dark, sadistic, and evil. It’s hard to believe that he knows so much of the Church. he doesn’t practice it, I take it. He doesn’t practice Christian morals. He’s part of the generation now that listens to a lot of hiphop – which contains a lot of cuss words – and prefers to be on his phone. He’s always on his phone! Wow. He’s really not mature as I’ve thought. 

He doesn’t know his priorities.

He’s awfully selfish.

He has a really bad temper.

If you try to communicate what your problems are to him, he’ll be really defensive about it. He’ll just get even more mad and you won’t get anywhere. You’ll just be digging yourself a bigger hole. 

Lesson Learned:

  • Just because someone is willing to sacrifice everything for you, doesn’t mean that they’re going to be a responsible person. This does not mean that they’re going to treat you right.

Unclear Conversation

How come you stopped liking the Big Bang Theory TV Series? You were the one that introduced me (again) to the series. You were so excited the first time we watched it.

Maybe it’s because there was a time where I was supposed to watch it but I didn’t feel it.

What do you mean?

I feel like I need to be awake at certain times while I’m supposed to be sleeping.

Tell me, do you know what he meant by this?

Husband Support

I have bipolar II and I’m depressed about it. 

Today I finally got a chance to laugh and smile due to watching “Big Bang Theory” with my husband. While I laughed he said,

Can you stop laughing so obnoxiously? Stop being so loud!!!

Can you laugh quietly?

He told me this multiple times as I laughed multiple times watching the show. Apparently, he didn’t enjoy what we were watching. 

It was past ten, and we had neighbors. What he said is understandable. Be a good neighbor by not making too much noise.

Would that rule still apply even if I feel bad each day because I’m depressed, I’m gaining weight, and I feel that my life’s going to end when there is silence in the room?

I cry.