Final Headaches

Word Prompt: Final

Two days ago I’ve witnessed one of the most fatal headaches I’ve ever experienced in my life. I was on Lexapro for social anxiety and my doctor and I agreed that I should tapper myself off of it to use another drug in its place. Lexapro has led me to a 35 pound weight gain and I’ve told myself that I no longer want to tolerate that.

What irritates me was that I was not told how to tapper the medication properly. My psychiatrist said to divide the dosage in half for one week and divide it again for another week. Eventually when I get down to 10 mg I should stop. 

Yea friggin right. I should not have done that.

I’ve had mad headaches where I sleep an average of 18 hours a day. I went to urgent care and come to realize that it was the medication. Thanfully, my labs were all clear. 

I see my psychiatrist 2 days later and he prescribed me Effexor. It’s not exactly weight neutral but it has been seen to help lose weight. Thanks Doc. 

I guess it’s left to say that I’ve been feeling better since the last two days. Two days ago I’ve had my final worrisome headache, and every single day after makes it better. 

A prudent approach to filing for an annulment

We’ve fought about this. We’ve always fought about this.
I was in the bedroom on my ipad air checking my email and what not and suddenly Stooey and Pixie started barking like crazy because there was someone outside the balcony. The balcony door was closed but I kept the blinds open for the sunlight to come in to do work. 
The apartments are doing maintenance to revamp the place. There was a lady working with the cement outside. She held some sort of device that sounded like a leaf blower. 
Usually when Stooey and Pixie start barking like crazy, I don’t get up and stop them. There is a barrier between the stranger and the dogs. They won’t stop barking unless the stranger goes away, which isn’t anytime soon. I get irritated after a few minutes of them barking like that. But Jake, in the other hand, goes berserk and tries to pull the dogs away as if they’re attacking the woman.

When he heard the dogs barking, he immediately stopped playing video games from the living room, opened the door without knocking, and slapped my back to get my attention.

“What’s wrong with you! Didn’t I tell you to put the dogs away? All you’re doing is just sit there! You’d only do something when you see me coming!”

He then grabbed Stooey and went to the living room to continue playing video games. He slammed the door behind him. 

Pixie was with me, and she kept barking a little. Whenever her bark started to escalate, I would calm her. 
A few minutes later of doing this, Jake comes running in the bedroom again without knocking.

“Why aren’t you doing anything about it? All you do is just sit there. You only do something whenever I’m here! You need to start and paying attention, Persephone!”

He grabbed Pixie, closed the blinds, and slammed the door again. 
I then heard him closing the blinds in the living room too. Now the apartment is dark inside.
It was hard for me to defend myself when he was talking over me like that. What annoys me is my skin stinging on my back. Did he really just hit me again? 
When he plays video games, he asks me to be quiet. There are plenty of people he talks to in the video game. Maybe he was angry because it was too loud? Maybe he was angry because he had to stop playing in the middle of the game? Or maybe both?
Do you think I did something wrong? This is my prudent approach to filing for the annulment.

A tear and the saucepan

Yesterday, I offered to pay for my portion of the groceries when we went to Walmart. He always paid for the groceries. He does this because he makes more. But yesterday, he didn’t say anything. The stuff that I bought were the regular stuff that him and I share. Well, I guess not entirely. He ask a little bit of what I have, but it’s no big deal.

Today, I didn’t have any oatmeal so I decided to cook some. As I go to the kitchen I notice that he hasn’t cleaned the saucepan that he used 4 days ago. I texted him asking if he could clean it, and immediately, he rose and went to the kitchen and cleaned it. 
Mind you, he was wearing his boxers. He had just woken up, and right then and there, he cleaned the saucepan for me. 
I was surprised because he ususally doesn’t take my requests as a priority at all. He usually just brushes them aside until I end up getting irritated and cleaning the darn thing myself or I bug him too much about it that we end up fighting again. The fights he starts are mainly arguements we’ve had in the past. The ones that I thought we’ve already resolved. 

I continued to clean, and when I passed him, I noticed that he was sniffing his nose. I guess he was crying. He was sobbing a little bit. I don’t know why he was sobbing, it’s not like I asked him to clean the saucepan right away, as you can see in the text I sent him. 
I stopped cleaning just to write this. I had to type it just in case I’d forget. 

Thing he told me that I will never forget

Things he told me that I know I will never forget
Here are things I forgot to mention that he has said:
– I’ve wasted my time in college. I’ve wasted all my time in college.

  • My parents never taught me how to clean.

  • I never listened to him.

  • I’m too busy. I never make time for him and my babies.

  • I’m always speaking with Liliana and Susan.

  • I spend too much money.

  • He told me to learn how to live with acne.

  • If he’s playing video games, he tells me that he’s stressed.

I can’t do the same thing. I can’t rest because I’m not the one who’s working. He tells me that at least he works for a living. 
I know myself that once I start working though, I’ll never look back.

Some Marriage This Is

Hopeful

How am I doing today? I’m doing great! How? Well, I’m fixing my room and everything seems to go well. Yes, my room is still a mess, although it’s turning out the way I planned. I plan to move his dresser to the living room, but with this nasty temper of his, it just seems really hard for me without getting real pissed. 

He sure is very dark, sadistic, and evil. It’s hard to believe that he knows so much of the Church. he doesn’t practice it, I take it. He doesn’t practice Christian morals. He’s part of the generation now that listens to a lot of hiphop – which contains a lot of cuss words – and prefers to be on his phone. He’s always on his phone! Wow. He’s really not mature as I’ve thought. 

He doesn’t know his priorities.

He’s awfully selfish.

He has a really bad temper.

If you try to communicate what your problems are to him, he’ll be really defensive about it. He’ll just get even more mad and you won’t get anywhere. You’ll just be digging yourself a bigger hole. 

Lesson Learned:

  • Just because someone is willing to sacrifice everything for you, doesn’t mean that they’re going to be a responsible person. This does not mean that they’re going to treat you right.

Unclear Conversation

How come you stopped liking the Big Bang Theory TV Series? You were the one that introduced me (again) to the series. You were so excited the first time we watched it.

Maybe it’s because there was a time where I was supposed to watch it but I didn’t feel it.

What do you mean?

I feel like I need to be awake at certain times while I’m supposed to be sleeping.


Tell me, do you know what he meant by this?